Chipper Jones to miss rest of softball season with strained oblique

ATLANTA, GA — Chipper Jones, already on the DL for the Braves, strained his oblique in his second at-bat in Tuesday’s softball game and will miss the rest of the softball season.

“I felt a little twinge during my second at-bat,” Jones said. “I knew right away that my season would probably be over. It’s just heartbreaking.”

Jones was 0-for-2 with two groundouts Tuesday, and ends the season hitting .309 with one homer and seven RBI. James “Bubba” McDowell, the team’s former left-centerfielder, will again resume starting.

“I guess it’s a case of ‘one man gathers what another man spills,’” McDowell said. “I’m definitely glad to be in the lineup. To be honest, I wasn’t even all that worried when Chipper took over for me, because he’s always pulling something or straining something else. Guy can’t stay healthy. I’m so fat that I don’t even have an oblique, so it’s not a problem.”

Jones says that by sitting out the rest of the season, he hopes he’ll be ready for fall league.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!