BJ Upton wets himself due to lack of hustle

TAMPA BAY, FL — Tampa Bay Rays second baseman had an embarrassing moment Monday when he micterated in his pants in the middle of the fourth inning.

Upton, who has been benched twice this month for lack of hustle, was simply sitting in the clubhouse before the game when he felt the need to urinate.

“Normally, I wait until I really need to go before I get up,” Upton said. “And then I was sort of sauntering over to the john. To be honest, I didn’t even realize how quickly I’d need to go to get there on time. And next thing you know, I’m covered in piss.”

“It was pretty gross,” said Cliff Floyd. “I mean, this is not the first time, either. It’s like, once, fine – it’s an accident. Twice, okay, you’re entering Carlos Pena territory here, but you’re still cool. But for it to happen this often, it’s really unacceptable.”

Rays manager Joe Maddon, who has repeatedly clashed with Upton over his lack of hustle, was philosophical.

“Look, BJ has a lot of natural talent, a ton of speed, and he’s got the unique ability to get where he needs to go very quickly,” Maddon said. “But the fact of the matter remains that you’ve got to expend some effort once in a while if you want to be a star in the big leagues. That’s just a fact.

“And BJ cannot keep not hustling to the bathroom. I mean, what if he needed to, you know, um, number two, and that happened? Think about that.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!