Walton hospitalized following overdose on psychedelic albums

LOS ANGELES, CA — Hall of Fame basketball player and current NBA analyst Bill Walton was hospitalized late Monday night in what early reports are calling a psychedelic overdose.

Walton’s son, Luke, found his father locked in the den of his Los Angeles home around 10 PM and immediately called an ambulance. In the latest doctors’ reports, Bill’s condition was described as stable.

“Dad wasn’t answering his phone and he missed our weekly Monopoly get together – and dad never misses a good game of Monopoly,” Luke told SSNN. “I went to his house and heard a lot of strange noises coming from the den. I was finally able to get in, and he was half-conscious on the floor in nothing but his tie-dye underwear, mumbling something about making it to the dark side of the moon. It was hard seeing him like that.”

Doctors say Bill Walton overdosed on a mixture of Grateful Dead, late era Beatles, Jimi Hendrix and the Beach Boys Pet Sounds album. They also found traces of Bob Dylan’s “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35″ in his system.

Luke said that as of now there is no timetable for the release of his father, who was apparently celebrating the Celtics 17^th NBA championship.

“We’re taking things slow right now, because obviously we know how serious these things can be,” he said. “Let’s just say this isn’t my dad’s first rodeo – and by rodeo I mean a trip induced by psychedelic music.”

ESPN has already said they will not make a decision on any punishment until after Walton has been released from the hospital.

“Needless to say this is not something the Worldwide Leader takes lightly,” ESPN said in a press release. “This is worse than the time Michael Irvin got caught carrying around gangsta rap CDs for ‘his friend.’ With that being said, we are still going to let this situation play out, and gather all the facts surrounding Bill’s hospitalization before we take any action.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!