Twins give Liriano ultimatum

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For seemingly the first time all season, Francisco Liriano and the Minnesota Twins are on the same page.

Liriano has spent much of this year dominating for the Twins AAA affiliate, Rochester, after missing all of the 2007 because of Tommy John surgery.

“We know Francisco wants to be here, and we want him here – as long as he’s ready,” said Twins GM Bill Smith. “So despite previous reports, we’re on the same page.”

The problem, then, becomes how Liriano can show he is ready to rejoin the major league club. The pitcher and his agent, Greg Genske, have said they believe Liriano’s recent performance – 5-0 with a 0.26 ERA in his last five starts – proves he is ready to return to the major leagues.

Smith, on the other hand, told SSNN that the potential call-up will be handled the “Twins Way.”

Follow SSNN on Twitter!

“As you all know, we’re a small market team,” he said. “So for us to win, we have to do things our way. And without tooting my own horn, I’d say our way has worked pretty damn well the past decade or so.

“For our minor leaguers to prove to management they’re ready to play here, we’ve always had one rule: kick Jose Canseco’s ass first. Not only does successfully completing this task show mental and physical toughness, but it’s awesome watching Canseco get beat up. That guy’s such a tool.”

Surprisingly, Liriano and Genske know about the rule and have no problem with it. The only trick is getting Canseco to sign up for a fight after he was publicly embarrassed in a boxing match with former NFL player Vai Sikahema earlier this month.

Smith said he’s not surprised Liriano is finding it difficult to draw Canseco into another ill-fated bout, but that he still does not sympathize with him.

“Boof Bonser and Kevin Slowey both beat the shit out of Canseco, and I didn’t hear any bitching from them,” the Minnesota GM said. “We never said this would be easy. Suck it up and kick that snitch’s ass.”

Smith did say he would also reluctantly accept a Liriano victory over Sikahema or any title-holding ultimate fighter. But he made it clear that if Liriano wants to become the ace of the Twins’ staff, he needs to “beat another book out of that money-hungry, attention-starved asshole.”