Spanish fans vow to “try harder” after killing only one during victory celebration

MADRID–Distraught Spanish soccer fans vowed to try harder next time after only ending one person’s life in celebration of the nation’s Euro Cup 2008 title.

Spain won the title with a 1-0 victory over Germany on a Fernando Torres goal, and the nation immediately erupted in a victory celebration that claimed the life of only one person Sunday night.

Many Spanish citizens were apologetic for the celebration.

“Pues, es muy dificil de matar mas de solamente una persona,” said Juan Carlos Montañez, 23, a Barcelona resident who goes to the local community college and works part-time as a carpenter. “Vamos a matar mas personas si nosotros estamos los ganadores del Cupo Mundial.”

According to some Spanish scientists, the nation’s 44-year drought from any Euro Cup success accounted for the lackluster performances of the fans.

“Los países como Alemania, adonde tienen mucho éxito en fútbol … que saben terminar realmente muchas vidas en una celebración,” said Dr. Miguel Monteros, a Ph.D in psychology at the University of Seville. “Ellos son profecionales. Somos como aficionados en este país. Pensamos que sabemos matar a gente, pero no es la verdad. Realmente solamente podemos paralizar or danar seriamente a gente. No estamos listos para matar a gente todavía.”

Nevertheless, Monteros and Montañez are both optimistic for the future, and hope that the nation’s soccer team and its fans continue their development.

As Montañez put it, “Hasta la victoria y los finales del Cupo Mundial en África del Sur en 2010!”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!