Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League

READING, PA — Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year.

“We’ve got eight people at NovaTech, which is a mid-stage technology infrastructure process improvement solution provider CRM start-up,” Kostansky explained. “Six of the eight people who work here – all except me and my wife – are sports fanatics. They all play fantasy baseball and fantasy football. I mean, it’s baseball, baseball, baseball… right into football season.

“So we’ve basically got two months in the winter to get all of our work done for the year. That, and two days in July. Well, we lost one of those days today. Thanks a lot, Dan Uggla.”

Kostansky reports that of the six sports-fan employees, four did not show up until after 10 AM, “and they all looked very bleary-eyed after staying up and watching the game.”

One employee, Roger Rivera, showed up at 9:30 AM. Unfortunately, he soon had to be hospitalized for flu-like symptoms. The final employee, James Mitchell, is still missing and is presumed to have perished from the face of the earth sometime during the 12th inning.

“I am really, really mad at the National League. Just furious,” Kostansky said. “I am sending Billy Wagner a bill for $857 in wasted salary and expenses that he cost me today. I just can’t help but think that Cole Hamels would never be so cavalier with a small business’s well-being.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!