Parcells swayed by 2010 sixth-rounder

MIAMI, FL — “One man’s throw-in is another man’s treasure,” said a visibly enthused Bill Parcells, reeling with excitement after obtaining a 2009 second round pick and a 2010 sixth round pick from the Washington Redskins for DE Jason Taylor.

Taylor, whose relationship with the Dolphins has been rocky in recent months, will move to the nation’s capital, where we will help the pass rush of a solid Redskins defense that has recently been rocked by injury.

The perennial pro-bowler has been rumored to be on the trading block for months, but the Dolphins had been holding out for more than just a second round pick. When the Redskins came forward with an offer that included a 2010 sixth rounder, Parcells could barely contain himself.

“I made the deal instantly,” Parcells said. “I think they were sort of surprised – but they don’t know what I know.”

Specifically, Parcells is speaking about South Carolina Gamecocks punter Spencer Lanning, a sophomore who has yet to make a kick in the college ranks, but who Parcells thinks will make an excellent sixth round draft choice in 2010.

“Listen, I’ve been in this game for over 30 years, and I know talent when I see it,” Parcells said. “I’ve been following Spence since he was punting at York Comprehensive High School, and I know what he brings to the table. In the NFL it’s about field position, field position, field position, and so we’re going to need a great punter for the future. Well, with Spencer on the horizon for 2010, I can just basically cross that off my list.”

Lanning, for his part, was excited about the prospects of playing in the NFL.

“Gee, I never really even thought about the NFL,” he said. “I’d always just figured I could maybe get to be a starter here by my senior year, maybe kick a few balls and get to go to college. Wouldn’t that be nice? But I guess if I can go to the NFL and kick for the Miami Dolphins, that sounds great. I mean, I’d probably rather kick for just about anyone else, but at least Miami is nice in the winter.”

Redskins management was apparently embarrassed by the developments.

“Shit, I didn’t even think about Spencer Lanning,” said a red-faced Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington franchise. “I should have known something was up when Parcells was so eager to take that pick. Damn. Well, I guess we have two years to win the Super Bowl, because after that, it looks like it’s the Dolphins’ for the next 10 or 12 years.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!