Nadal proposes that Wimbledon final renamed, played in a better location

WIMBLEDON — SSNN has learned that Rafael Nadal has made an unusual request on the eve of his Wimbledon finals date with Roger Federer. According to sources, Nadal has requested that the event be renamed to the “French Open Finals,” and be relocated to the Roland Garros tennis facility in Paris, France.

“I just feel like the idea of playing the Wimbledon finals in London, and calling it Wimbledon, that’s so trite and passe,” Nadal said. “Why just do the same damn thing every year? What’s the point of that?”

Nadal and Federer are set to meet in the Wimbledon final for the third consecutive time, with Federer having won the previous two matchups en route to a streak of five Wimbledon titles in a row. However, the pair have also met in the last three French Open finals, all of which were won by Nadal. Nadal has won 11 of 17 matches between the two, though Federer has beaten Nadal five of seven on surfaces other than clay.

“I really think that the fans would like to see something different in the Wimbledon final,” Nadal said. “So I’m thinking we all just sort of hop on some buses or boats or planes, get over there to Paris, and get things going? We should probably play it on the red clay, too.”

A representative from Wimbledon indicated that they probably would reject Nadal’s request to relocate the tournament, but that it would be taken under consideration if Federer was interested in relocating the match as well.

Federer, for his part, seemed willing to consider the challenge.

“Look, I’m the number one player in the world,” Federer said. “So I’ll play people any time and any place–it doesn’t matter where or when. Rafael Nadal is going to get his ass kicked by me wherever he wants to play me. As long as it’s Centre Court at Wimbledon tomorrow, of course.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!