Email from George Bodenheimer to Roger Federer regarding proposed Wimbledon coverage

SSNN has obtained an exclusive communication from George Bodenheimer, president of ESPN, to Roger Federer, regarding Wimbledon. The text of the email is below.

From: George Bodenheimer [espnsenor@yahoo.ca]
Date: Thu, Jul 3, 2008 at 1:27 PM
Subject: Wimbledon
To: Roger Federer [nonadal@gmail.com]

Dear Mr. Federer:

My name is George Bodenheimer, and I am the president of ESPN. As you may or may not know, ESPN is a very popular sports media company in the United States—in fact, we believe we lead the world in sports coverage (our slogan is “The Worldwide Leader in Sports!”)

I am writing to inform you that I have recently become aware that you are involved with a tennis tournament called Wimbledon, which I have been informed takes place on an annual basis and is played in London on a grass court. Having never seen this take place, I doubted the veracity of these claims, but I have been informed by reliable sources that indeed such a tournament does take place, and that it is actually extremely popular with many people.

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As such, I have recommended that ESPN and its related networks immediately examine the possibility of including this so-called “Wimbledon” (we’ll probably change the name) into our future coverage.

Presently, we have formed an exploratory committee and are looking into adding the coverage into our 2011 summer schedule (assuming the event is still in existence at that point). We likely will not choose to air tennis matches in their entirety, and instead are considering a reformatting in which the world’s greatest tennis players compete in a bracket style tournament in which they are eliminated one by one until the world’s tennis champion is crowned. Alternatively, we are thinking about allowing Bill Simmons to determine the world’s tennis champion in a 28,000-word column, and then simply have him read the manifesto on the air over the course of three hour-long shows. Like I said, we have several years to figure this out.

Until then, I wish you the best of luck, and I will do my best to keep apprised of your accomplishments. However, as information about your sport is extremely difficult to procure, if you wouldn’t mind sending me an annual letter letting me know if you are still playing tennis, that would be appreciated.

My very best wishes and happy Fourth of July!

George Bodenheimer
President
ESPN