David Stern stunned to learn the Sonics are moving to Oklahoma City

NEW YORK, NY — Everything was going fine for NBA commissioner David Stern on Sunday morning, until a weird turn of the internet ruined his day.

“I was just scrolling through my gmail, checking things out, answering some letters and stuff, when I got one of those ads at the top of the list,” Stern said. “Anyway, this ad said something about the Sonics moving to Oklahoma, and I thought, ‘Hmmm, that’s interesting, I wonder what Sonics they are talking about?’ So I clicked the ad, and imagine my surprise to see that they were talking about the Seattle Supersonics, of the NBA!”

Stern indicated to SSNN that he was absolutely floored and stunned by the announcement.

“Honestly, I was barely aware that Seattle had a team anymore,” Stern said. “I certainly didn’t have any idea that they were planning on moving. I guess a lot of people have been working on this for a long time, but it’s sure not getting a lot of press coverage. Definitely not out east.”

Stern said he was going to have a “stern talk” (LOL) with his staff at the NBA headquarters and that he would be seeking to insure that no breakdown in communication ever happened like this again.

“Look, as an NBA commissioner, I have an obligation to the fans to really know what is going on with my league,” he said. “And that even includes the teams that nobody cares about, like the Seattle Supersonics, or now, the Oklahoma City Supersonics. Do they still have Ray Allen?”

NBA staffers reported that Stern was deeply upset by the developments of Sunday.

“Yeah, Mr. Stern was really mad,” said Ron Dilbrey, an intern with the league. “Really mad. He was screaming and yelling; it seems that he really thought we dropped the ball on this one and that we should have let him know what was going on. I don’t know why he didn’t know already; maybe he’s too caught up in all this gambling ref stuff.”

SSNN reached Stern late Sunday, and asked if his oversight on the Sonics was a result over his concern on the Donaghy matter, to which Stern replied, “Who?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!