Cynthia Rodriguez seeking half in divorce filing

MIAMI, FL — Citing irreconcilable differences, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, seeking half of her husband’s money and assets, including at least half of his career statistics.

“My client is simply interested in what is fair for her and her children,” said Cynthia’s divorce attorney, Maurice Kutner. “As such, she is requesting at least half of the marital assets, including statistics. This marriage was to be a partnership, and she has kept up her end of the bargain.”

According to sources, Cynthia Rodriguez feels she is entitled to half of all of A-Rod’s stats – not just the stats he has accrued during their time together – and is particularly interested in the power statistics and stolen bases.

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“Indeed, were my client to wake up tomorrow with 275 career major league home runs, over 750 RBI, and nearly 150 stolen bases, she would be an attractive option for virtually any team, and will be well on her way to a Hall of Fame career,” Kutner explained to SSNN. “Moreover, she will likely be able to parlay those numbers into a 5-year, $70 million contract with the San Francisco Giants, which will really help her get back on her feet.”

Cynthia Rodriguez, for her part, says she doesn’t want the proceedings to be acrimonious, and is willing to do what it takes to make things work.

“I’m here to compromise,” Cynthia said. “That’s why I am only asking for one of his three MVP awards. Also, as a gesture of good faith, I am letting him keep all of his postseason statistics. Not that anyone would want them.”