Confused Shockey thinks he was traded to the Dolphins

MIAMI, FL — A giddy Jeremy Shockey arrived in Florida hours ago, his head spinning with excitement at the prospect of joining the Miami Dolphins and performing again in the city where he played college football for the Miami Hurricanes.

Shockey, who was traded Monday to the New Orleans Saints for future second-round and fifth-round draft picks, was confused because the prior day the Washington Redskins had made a similar deal with the Dolphins in exchange for Jason Taylor.

“I heard about the deal for Jason Taylor, but I think that’s a mistake,” Shockey said. “I think ESPN just got it all mixed up and instead of saying Jeremy Shockey, they said Jason Taylor. Both names start with J.”

Shockey flew to Miami immediately, where he maintains an offseason residence.

“I’m glad to be back here in Miami, playing for the Dolphins,” Shockey told a small assemblage of confused reporters who met him at the airport. “It’s been a lifelong dream of mine to get back here and play in this city again. I love what we’re doing, and I love the city – so I’m really honored to be here. Mostly, I’m just glad to be out of the NFC, and in a great city, instead of a crappy one. Like Atlanta, or, say, New Orleans.”

When again informed that indeed he had been traded to the Saints instead of the Dolphins, and that Jason Taylor was going to the Redskins, Shockey appeared confused.

“Wait a second,” Shockey said. “You’re telling me that I’m on the Redskins, and that the Giants traded me to a team in their own division? That doesn’t make any sense at all.”

When informed a third time that he would be going to New Orleans, to play for the Saints, and that his trade had nothing to do with the trade for Jason Taylor, Shockey had only a three-word answer.

“Who’s Jason Taylor?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!