Changes in store for All-Star Game

NEW YORK CITY, NY — After a wildly popular voting session that boasted an all-time high 20 million votes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced today that there will be a massive overhaul for what is sure to be an historic 79^th annual All-Star Game.

Selig said the changes are largely a result of timing – this year’s game is to take place in Yankee Stadium, in the final year of the legendary stadium’s existence – but others point to dwindling television ratings as the reason for the changes. Last year only 998 people watched the American League defeat the National League 5-4.

“I constantly hear that Major League Baseball needs to be more proactive, and that’s exactly what we’re doing here,” Selig said. “We believe this year’s game will be revolutionary.”

The most notable change will be the institution of voting on every single play. Selig called it “a natural merging of American’s two favorite things: baseball and internet polls.” The commissioner also addressed critics’ claims that this will come off as a scripted game.

“It’s not like we predetermined everything – this isn’t the NBA,” the commissioner told SSNN. “We’re just giving the fans exactly what they want, as determined by polls. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

Other, smaller changes will include a Kiss Cam featuring A-Rod and Madonna, the fourth inning being replaced by a game show called “Instances when Albert Pujols’ name is inappropriate,” and the inclusion of American Idol contestants on both the American and National League squads.

It has not been established what effect this will have on the World Series, as the All-Star Game decides what league will have home field advantage for the Fall Classic. Selig does not feel that will be a problem, though.

“I’ve got to be honest with you guys: that whole home field advantage thing was just a ploy to get viewers,” he admitted. “But it didn’t work, so we’re just going to pretend like it never happened. Kind of like that decade where half the league was on steroids.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!