80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote

NEW YORK, NY — In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the National League roster in Tuesday’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

The once-popular vocalist’s astounding vote total surpassed those of young stars such as New York Mets third baseman David Wright, Philadelphia Phillies left fielder Pat Burrell and San Francisco Giants center fielder Aaron Rowand for the coveted All-Star appearance.

Hart’s original claims to fame were his two Top Ten U.S. hit songs – “Sunglasses at Night” in 1983 and “Never Surrender” in 1985. Hart received the call while editing his fifth attempt at a comeback album Hello? I’m Still Here! at his home in Montreal.

“I’m truly flattered. It’s nice to know I still have fans out there who remember and love my music,” said Hart. “At this point, it’s nice to know I still have fans at all, but baseball? I’ve never even been to a baseball game, never mind played it. I heard that Montreal had a baseball team; maybe I can get some practice time with them. Does anyone know where I could find those guys?”

Milwaukee Brewers right fielder Corey Hart, one of the early favorites to win the voting, displayed a measure of class and admiration for the singer’s victory.

“Wow, I guess he really did never surrender. I know it’ll be fun watching him try to hit, especially since he’s only had two hits in my lifetime,” the young outfielder quipped. “I wonder how well he’ll see the ball wearing his sunglasses at night – heh, get it? Seriously, though – I’m a little worried that the next hit he gets will be to his head from [Yankees pitcher] Mariano Rivera.”

Baseball fan and sometime actress Alyssa Milano offered her assessment of this surprising turn of events on her blog: “Corey Hart? Oh, yeah, good young player. I can’t wait to see him swing his wood! He deserved to be an All-Star, but I kinda like the singer too. I mean, ‘Sunglasses at Night’? Genius. I haven’t heard that song since I was a kid, but he was a cutie back then. I guess it’s a little weird that he’s an All-Star… Oh, well, I’d still do him.”

SSNN has also received numerous calls from former child actors (and once-relevant human beings) Corey Haim and Corey Feldman wishing to pass on their congratulations to the man that both refer to as, “the third Corey.”