Yankees to headline writers: Stop playing with our Wang

NEW YORK, NY — Amid floods of sophomoric and juvenile headlines, the New York Yankees called a press conference today to hopefully stop the bevy of Wang references.

“We get it guys – ‘Wang yanked in victory’, ‘Yanks pull Wang after scoring’ – all hilarious,” said manager Joe Girardi. “But come on, we’re professionals, let’s show some class. Besides, our Wang is actually hurt, this is a big deal.”

The headline scandal began when Yankees starting pitcher Chien-Ming Wang sprained his foot running the bases in Sunday’s 13-0 victory over the Houston Astros. Wang was immediately removed, and was seen wearing a soft cast and walking with crutches after the game.

While many journalists claimed ignorance on their controversial headlines, some owned up to their juvenile sense of humor.

“Oh yeah, as soon as I saw he was hurt I started thinking of masturbation references,” said one unnamed reporter in the Yankees press box. “While he was being helped off the field, I already had Wang being jerked. Don’t steal that one, ok?”

The last time anything near this exciting happened in the sports journalism community was when former MLB pitcher Danny Cox was pictured with two baseballs, leading to countless “Cox with balls” captions.

Girardi hopes the nation’s journalists can rise above the easy jokes and go back to reporting the nuts and bolts – or twig and berries – of the game.

“I’m not saying this guy should be given a pass for having the last name Wang,” he said. “I just think we should concentrate on the injury right now. When he comes back healthy, all bets are off – I promise not to complain about any ‘Wang at full strength’ or ‘Foot healed, Wang now erect’ headlines. But until we get a fresh MRI, can you all just cool it, please?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!