Schilling’s shoulder to have own blog

BOSTON, MA — Following Boston Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling’s recent disclosure that he will have potentially career-ending shoulder surgery, the outspoken Schilling announced today that his shoulder will chronicle the experience with its own blog: OffTheCuff.com.

Schilling (the man, in full) issued a written statement on his own blog, 38Pitches.com, to explain the thinking behind giving one of his body parts a public forum in which to express itself.

“My namber won goal with this blogg is to give the phans wat they really want….. an our by our akount of my surjury and recovery az told by my sholder….. my career mite be over but dont cry fur me argentina ive had a gud life and oh yeah the mishun of offthecuff is to raze $$$ and awarnes for als research. L8r, Curt.”[sic]

Boston Red Sox President/CEO Larry Lucchino was not impressed. “You know what blog I’d like to see? I’d like to see his conscience write a blog to explain the rationale behind accepting eight million bucks to pitch exactly zero innings this year. Why dontcha write that one, Curt?”

While currently in the final stages of construction, the blog is reported to contain a section for Schilling’s shoulder’s favorite links (”Cuff Links”), a photo tour of the shoulder’s favorite shirts and other upper-torso outer wear, and a smiley face-based mood indicator section.

Sources within Schilling’s inner circle have indicated to SSNN that upon launch of the site, the mood of Schilling’s shoulder is expected to be set to “sad.”

As of press time, SSNN was unable to confirm a rumor that Schilling’s shoulder’s first entry will call Kobe Bryant’s shooting hand selfish.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!