O’Neal-for-Ford trade actually not a joke

TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA — Despite early reports to the contrary, it now seems that the trade between the Toronto Raptors and Indiana Pacers involving Jermaine O’Neal and T.J. Ford is – shockingly – not a joke.

Sources with knowledge of the trade have told SSNN that, in fact, the deal will go through pending physicals by all involved players.

“I saw the headline and I immediately thought it was a spoof article,” said Raptors fan Tony Hollings. “But I read the story and it seemed legit. I kept waiting for the punchline – like about how each team’s GM was also going to leave a pile of crap on the others doorstep, or put sugar in the other guy’s gas tank or something – but it never came. Needless to say, I was surprised.”

In attempting to clear up confusion over the apparently very real trade proposal, Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo may have actually added to it.

“Did I shit on David’s [Pacers GM Morway] doorstep? Who knows,” Colangelo said. “We can get into that if and when any trades occur.”

Both O’Neal and Ford were too busy coming up with future injuries to be interviewed, but another piece of the rumored trade – Rasho Nesterovic – did speak to SSNN about the story.

“I don’t know any more than you guys,” he said. “It certainly does sound like a joke, though. I mean, think about it – anybody going out of their way to take on the contracts of Jermaine, T.J. or myself is laughable.”

Nesterovic did add that the shit-on-the-doorstep analogy would have been an appropriate metaphor for the trade, if it is in fact a fake story. “Just read the story, then add ‘The two GM’s also agreed to leave fresh bowel movements on each other’s doorsteps, pending physicals’ to the end and you have a great satire story. It’s definitely confusing.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!