NBA announces hiring of WWE refs

“We both deal with very large, very intense, and often very belligerent athletes,” said Stern. “Obviously, the WWE officials have a ton of experience in dealing with these massive bodies in motion, so we believe they are ideally suited to handle the NBA and our athletes, just as soon as we explain the rules to them.”

McMahon chimed in his agreement. “As you well know, none of our referees, wrestlers or any other member of the WWE family has ever been implicated in a gambling scandal, and any thought that we’ve ever been involved in drug or sex scandals is completely preposterous! With such above-board competition and family-friendly entertainment, each of our athletes strives to do their best. Regardless of who they are, or who their wife is, or the fact that a wrestler is married to my daughter, WWE represents the pinnacle of equal opportunity and competition in sports entertainment. It’s like we say – ‘Anything can happen in the WWE!’ Hell, even I don’t know what’s going to happen most of the time! Commissioner Stern and I just agreed that the NBA needs an injection of this kind of integrity. Metaphorically speaking, I mean.”

Perhaps most interesting was Stern’s admission that certain concessions would have to be made in order to make the transition for the WWE referees easier.

“We hope our fans can come back next year and enjoy a great season of competition, where every team has a chance to win the title, regardless of history, star power, or TV market size,” Stern said. “We acknowledge there will be a transition period for these new officials, and we will do what we can to we can to integrate them into our game as seamlessly as possible. We can guarantee that our playoff system will not change to a ‘battle-royale’ format, but we are currently considering allowing each team one steel folding-chair shot per half.”

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Labels: basketball, battle royale, cheating, Chyna, David Stern, NBA, pro wrestling, referees, Tim Donaghy, Vince McMahon, WWE

Posted on June 19th, 2008

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