Mets chairman denies involvement with team

NEW YORK CITY, NY — In the wake of the firing of manager Willie Randolph and subsequent criticisms of the way it was handled, Mets chairman Fred Wilpon held a press conference today in which he denied having anything to do with the operation of the club.

“I’m what you might call a hands-off owner,” Wilpon told reporters. “I may be chairman of the board, but you’d be surprised how little I have to do with how the club is run. And thank God for that, because I don’t want any of the blame for this mess.”

Wilpon went on to stress that the club’s decision-making process “starts and ends with [General Manager] Omar Minaya. So go blame him.” Wilpon said he now spends most of his time on Long Island, attempting to catch lobsters “with a really long net,” and doting on his imaginary grandchildren.

“I want to reiterate that firing Willie was totally Omar’s idea,” Wilpon said. “And now that I think of it, the hiring of Willie – who I had never heard of before – was also Omar’s idea. He has some kind of hypnotic power over me. I just look into those soulful, sexy Latin eyes of his and I swoon every time.”

But when pressed, Wilpon admitted he has put his fingerprints on the Mets at certain times. He just wants to avoid people thinking he oversees the day-to-day operations.

“It’s not that I’ve never done anything, it’s just the more recent stuff that I would say is really completely Omar’s fault. Most of the bad stuff, really, is Omar – that’s how you can tell,” Wilpon said. “Like the Johan Santana deal, that was me. Oh, and the decision to draft David Wright. But I guess anything else I can think of right now, you should just blame Omar, who I give a big vote of confidence.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!