Jets can’t decide which weak-armed QB should start

NEW YORK CITY, NY — New York Jets coach Eric Mangini has a problem that many football coaches have this time of year – he can’t decide on his starting quarterback.

“We have a real embarrassment of riches at QB,” Mangini admitted to reporters at a press conference following the team’s off-season minicamp. “We’ve really cornered the market on weak-armed quarterbacks.”

For several seasons, the Jets have had former Marshall standout Chad Pennington as their starting signal caller. But several surgeries have diminished Pennington’s already-limited arm strength.

“He can probably throw the ball about 20 yards now,” Mangini told reporters. “And I’m pretty sure he can make those dump-off throws to the running backs that have made him famous.”

Now Pennington is being challenged by another short-armed passer – former Oregon QB Kellen Clemens. Last season Clemens threw for just over 1,500 yards in place of an oft-injured Pennington, as the Jets glided to a 4-12 record.

According to Mangini, Clemens “can throw the ball at least 40 yards in the air. That’s almost as far as your average high school quarterback.” Unfortunately for the head coach, he finds himself in the unenviable position of picking between the two fireballers.

“Well, it just depends on what type of season we want to have,” Mangini said. “We could go the Arizona route, where you play the solid, but unspectacular veteran who leads the team to a 7-9 record and barely misses the playoffs. Or we could just say screw it, go with Clemens and shoot for a downright miserable record. I’m thinking of option B. There’s going to be some actual talent in next year’s draft, and I want to be first in line.”

Whichever quarterback he chooses, Mangini is sure that his wide receivers won’t be out of breath any time soon. “We’ll be running a lot of short pass routes. What do they call that? West Coast offense? Yeah, we’ll be running the West Coast. I’m freakin’ Bill Walsh, man.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!