Eight Belles to be uniquely commemorated at Belmont

ELMONT, NY — Horse racing fans hoping to see the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years will receive a special commemorative souvenir this Saturday at Belmont Park.

Track officials announced that they will give Elmer’s Eight Belles Commemorative Glue to the first 10,000 Belmont Stakes ticket holders to enter the park.

The eight-ounce bottle’s label features the famous Elmer’s cow next to a picture of Eight Belles finishing second in the Kentucky Derby. Moments later, of course, the promising filly suffered a tragic injury to her front legs, leading to her euthanization on the Churchill Downs track.

“We wanted to give our patrons a special way to remember a great race horse that was such an important part of this year’s Triple Crown Race,” Belmont spokesman Larry Stuckey said. “Our partnership with Elmer’s means a lot of thoroughbred fans will go home with a piece of Eight Belles to cherish forever – or at least until their glue needs outweigh their horse-racing nostalgia.”

Eight Belles trainer Larry Jones echoed the sentiment. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me. After the Derby, our dreams of making it the Belmont were shattered – but Elmer’s has helped make it a reality.”

Animal rights activists, on the other hand, are outraged.

“Are you kidding me?” asked PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk. “This is unforgivable. What’s next? Spotted Owl sandwiches served with Bald Eagle soup?”

But, Eight Belles jockey Gabriel Saez looks forward to being reunited with his former mount. “I plan to use some of the glue to laminate my Green Card, so I always have a piece of her with me.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!