Cubs accidentally fire Lou Piniella

CHICAGO, IL — Chicagoland sports websites, talk radio shows and barbershops are buzzing today after it was announced that the Cubs, who have baseball’s best record, inadvertently fired Lou Piniella.

According to reports out of Chicago, the firing came as a result of a spate of managerial replacements, with Willie Randolph, John McLaren and John Gibbons being axed this week by the Mets, Mariners and Blue Jays, respectively.

“I guess I just got swept up in the moment,” said Jim Hendry, the Cubs’ GM. “One second I’m calling in Lou to congratulate him on the good work so far, and the next I’m telling him that maybe there will be some openings for him in AAA next season.

“It was really weird how it happened. But I’m not gonna lie – it felt good. It felt natural. It felt like something that I absolutely would normally do at this point in the season as the GM of the Cubs.”

Naturally, when they realized Piniella was actually doing a wonderful job as their manager, the Cubs invited the future Hall-of-Famer back. It is unclear, however, whether or not Piniella will accept the offer.

“Jim said some really hurtful things,” Piniella said. “About my managing, about my physical appearance, about my handling of the pitching staff, the whole nine yards. He told me that they’d be better off with Dusty Baker. I mean, come on – how can you even say that?”

Nevertheless, Hendry is hopeful. “I would really like to have Lou back,” he said. “I wish I hadn’t fired him, and I really wish I hadn’t enjoyed it so much. But hey – live and learn, right?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!