Confused Yankees show up at World Series of Poker

LAS VEGAS, NV — The New York Yankees, in a state of utter confusion, showed up this week at the Rio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, where the World Series of Poker is soon being played.

“I’m here,” Alex Rodriguez declared loudly. “I’m ready to play! It’s great to arrive at the World Series. It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I’m finally here.”

When informed that the Yankees were at the World Series of Poker, and not in fact any baseball-related contest, many of the players were disappointed.

“I figured something might be up,” said Derek Jeter. “I mean, in general, it seemed a lot like going to the real playoffs. I flew on a plane, there were hot chicks everywhere, A-Rod seemed really scared, etc, etc. The only difference was that they asked me for ten grand when I showed up.”

Despite their frustration and apparent lack of understanding, most of the Yankees ended up buying into the tournament. Some, however, chose to use creative methods of payment.

Jeter paid with a specially-made $10,000 bill that is issued by the U.S. Mint only to him and Tiger Woods; Hideki Matsui traded 1000 porn videos for his buy-in; and Mike Mussina, who does not have $10,000 in his bank account, was forced to fill out an employment application for the Rio in hopes of being able to pay back the money over the course of the next year.

Rodriguez, who says he does not often carry around $10,000 in cash, simply shaved off $10,000 worth of gold flakes from the giant, solid-gold staff that he now uses as a walking stick.

“I knew that carrying around this giant gold staff, albeit heavy, was a worthwhile endeavor,” Rodriguez said. “I plan on dominating this particular World Series. I have no reason to think that, given the presence of a World Series, I won’t dominate. Right?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!