Benson to enroll in flight school after latest arrest, release from Bears

AUSTIN, TX — Though Cedric Benson’s two alcohol-related arrests this summer led to his being cut from the Chicago Bears, they have not diminished his desire to succeed.

“Like I’ve told everyone, I don’t really have an excuse for my bad judgment,” Benson said in a phone interview with SSNN. “I’m not entirely surprised that the Bears cut me – they did what they felt they had to do. But it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to be the best. I’ve still got dreams.”

According to Benson, he hasn’t had much interest from other NFL franchises. Though he was a superstar in college at University of Texas, his NFL career has been disappointing both on and off the field.

“It doesn’t look like I’m gonna catch on anywhere this year, but that’s okay with me, really, because I’ve got a lot on my plate,” the former Bear explained. “I was thinking, you know – I got a boating under the influence charge pending, and I just got the drunk driving arrest under my belt… I’m gonna go into flight school, see if I can’t get that Triple Crown. One by sea, two by land… three by plane! Know what I’m sayin’?”

Benson is referring, of course, to the vaunted Triple Crown of Drinking Crime – driving under the influence, boating under the influence and flying under the influence. Most alcohol-arrest analysts had Benson as a longshot to complete the triad even after his driving arrest, but his release from the Bears could change that.

“I still don’t love his chances,” said Andy “Booze” Pasternak, a leading alcohol-arrest handicapper. “There are the Pacman Joneses and Tank Johnsons of the world, who are both so talented that they can’t be ignored and so delinquent that they can’t stop getting arrested – but Cedric Benson? I’m just not sure he’s on that level. Plus, there’s always a chance the Cowboys will sign him, and then there’s no way he has time for flight school.

“At best he’s 10-1 for the flight arrest. The Triple Crown doesn’t happen just every year, you know? I mean, if I had a dollar for every booze-hound to get a DUI and a BUI and then fall flat on his face in pursuit of the FUI, I’d be a rich man. Just look at Big Brown.”

But Benson wants to prove the critics wrong. He has already made inquiries about enrolling in flight school, and says he has never lost confidence in himself despite his recent struggles.

“Maybe things haven’t been great for me lately – but I’m on the verge of history here, and I’m not going to back down,” a hopeful Benson told SSNN. ” I’ve always had haters, you know? I had doubters who said I’d be a bust coming out of Texas; some people said I’d never be able to replace Thomas Jones‘ production with the Bears; other people wrote me off as an NFL player after the boating under the influence incident…

“Anyway, they’ve been pretty much right up to this point – so I figure I’m due.”