A-Rod refuses to eat clubhouse food after Betemit double-dip

PITTSBURGH, PA — Even though the Yankees hammered the Pirates 10-0 in Pittsburgh last night, it wasn’t all smiles for the Bronx Bombers.

After the game, an altercation started around the nachos and salsa bowl in the visiting clubhouse between Alex Rodriguez and some of his teammates.

“I saw it from across the room,” Rodriguez recounted to SSNN. “Wilson Betemit dipped his nacho in the salsa, and the chip was too big to fit in his mouth, so he took a bite out of it, and then dipped it again.”

Betemit admitted to dipping his chip twice, but still saw Rodriguez’s reaction as unreasonable.

“Alex just ran over to me, screaming like a little girl – ‘What are you doing?! What are you doing?!’” Betemit said, doing his best A-Rod impersonation. “Then he goes, ‘Ugh! Do you KNOW how many germs you just put back in the salsa?!’ Maybe I’m the weird one here, but I would say that he’s really just gotta man up.”

This latest action by the Yankees superstar third baseman isn’t doing much to harden his soft image. But Rodriguez doesn’t appear to care.

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“Ew! If we’re just going to act like big disgusting barbarians, then I’m going to get my own food,” Rodriguez said, sticking his chin in the air and applying purple lipstick. “Now, if you’ll excuse me – I have to go to the ladies room and freshen up. The humidity in Pittsburgh is clogging my pores.”

Yankees captain Derek Jeter says he’s had it with A-Rod’s femininity. “He told me I had a cute butt yesterday. Then he said he hopes Girardi will move him up to third in the order so he can ‘hit behind me.’ I know that seems like typical clubhouse talk, but the way he said it really creeped me out.”

Rodriguez’s personal masseuse, Hans, has a different take on the slugger. “Look, he’s just really stressed out from having to perform in New York. All the pressure you guys put on him, it’s just not fair. He’s really worried that if he gets too stressed, he’ll eventually sprout some hair on his chest.”