Tejada delivers on promise to hit home run for 34 year old boy

HOUSTON, TX – What was one of the feel-good stories of this baseball season – Miguel Tejada promising a young boy he would hit a home run on Saturday, a promise he fulfilled – is quickly turning ugly.

SSNN has been leaked footage from an ESPN investigative report that shows the boy, Scott Jacobs, is actually a 34-year-old man. A source who was present when an interview with Jacobs took place spoke to SSNN on the condition of anonymity.

“It was really uncomfortable,” the source said. “They set him up with some easy questions, and then boom! They broke out his birth certificate. Then the 34-year-old man/boy broke down and said it was all true.”

The Astros refused to make a comment on the situation. Tejada’s agent, Fernando Cuza, insisted Miguel had no knowledge Jacobs was 34 years old.

“My client would never promise to hit a home run for someone that old,” Cuza said. “You’re only good for two or three ‘promise homers’ in your career, so you like to limit them to kids 10 and under. It’s unfortunate Miggy got caught up in this.”

Additionally, according to the source, ESPN discovered Jacobs’ real name is Scooter Jacoby and he’s actually half human/half robot, which begins to explain how a 34-year-old could pass himself off as an 8-year-old boy.

The piece will air on Monday’s Outside the Lines. SSNN will report further on the situation when more information is available.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!