Suns future in doubt after Shaq steps on Nash

PHOENIX, AZ — Just when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse for the Phoenix Suns – they did.

After making a late-season deal to acquire center Shaquille O’Neal from the Miami Heat in exchange for Shawn Marion, the Suns were soundly defeated by the San Antonio Spurs in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

The defeat summed up several years of frustration for the franchise, which has been close to capturing an NBA title several times, but has never closed the deal. It also led to the departure of head coach Mike D’Antoni to the New York Knicks and left the Suns’ future uncertain.

That future is even more uncertain after a strange episode has left All-Star point guard Steve Nash hospitalized. According to a report released by Phoenix police, Nash was accidentally stepped on by O’Neal while the two were together at local amusement park Castles n’ Coasters. Nash is reportedly in stable condition – but the two-time MVP has several broken bones, and the full extent of his injuries has yet to be made public.

According to eyewitness reports, O’Neal and Nash were attempting to board a rollercoaster at a local amusement park when the incident occurred.

Follow SSNN on Twitter!

“They wouldn’t let the little fella on Desert Storm [a popular coaster], because you have to be taller than the little cardboard cutout of Yosemite Sam,” explained Marsha Stevenson, a C-n-C employee who saw things develop. “So the Big Cactus gets all mad about it and starts yelling, and Jimmy was working the Storm and he’s got a really quick trigger finger, so he called security. Then Shaq tried to place all four security guards under citizen’s arrest – that’s when all hell broke loose.”

O’Neal, who stands 7′2″ and weighs approximately 350 pounds, was apparently unaware that Nash was underfoot during the ensuing fight.

“Three of four more security guys came over to try to get the big guy down,” Stevenson continued. “Meanwhile, poor little Stevie is trying to get him to calm down – I mean, I don’t think he even cared that much about the ride, but Shaq was really set on defending his honor. I thought to myself, ‘this is one Big Brother outing that’s gonna end badly.’ That’s when Shaq stepped on him.”

A visibly shaken O’Neal had no comment for reporters at the hospital, where Nash was peeled off the center’s size-22 shoe and resuscitated. A Suns spokesman offered condolences to season ticket holders at a press conference.

“Obviously, this is a sad day for the Phoenix organization,” the spokesman read from a prepared statement. “We hope this serves as a reminder that everyone should stay out of the way of Shaquille’s feet. We unfortunately failed to consider this eventuality when making the deal for Mr. O’Neal. We had no idea just how big and clumsy Shaq is. He looks a lot smaller on TV.”

Nash is expected to make a full recovery, but is reportedly no longer on good terms with O’Neal.