Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Pujols adds insult to injury

ST. LOUIS, MO — After injuring the San Diego Padres’ Chris Young and Josh Bard earlier this week, an emotional Albert Pujols called a press conference today – in an effort, most assumed, to apologize for his rampage.

But the Cardinals first baseman showed he has a wicked curveball.

“To the people of San Diego, I just want to say I’m sorry,” a teary Pujols said. “I’m sorry you’re all such bitches. Now you know what the rest of the league knows: if you play with Pujols you’re going to get burned. Well, burned and have your nose broken. Or your foot sprained.”

Pujols also called out every man in San Diego, promising to sleep with their wife and/or girlfriend, as well as their daughters (provided they are of a reasonable age). When asked if he would go after women associated with the Padres players as well, Pujols simply responded, “Been there, done that.”

The Cardinals slugger went on to boast that he causes at least 75 percent of MLB injuries.

“If you don’t know, you better ask somebody,” Pujols responded when asked for documentation to back up his claim.

Pujols’ teammates didn’t seem surprised by his statements, and only manager Tony La Russa would comment.

“Albert just gets emotional sometimes, that’s all,” La Russa said. “Even when Mark McGwire was constantly shooting himself up with steroids he didn’t get that angry. But Pujols, he’s a different animal. I just hope he gives me his San Diego leftovers. I’ve spent time there, and the women are fantastic.”

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: Albert Pujols, Chris Young, injury, Josh Bard, Mark McGwire, San Diego, San Diego Padres, sex, St. Louis Cardinals, steroids, Tony La Russa

Posted on May 24th, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

• Padres management “not that upset” after Pujols injures entire team (May 22, 2008)
• Pujols literally a machine (February 9, 2007)
• St. Louis Cardinals to get discount on pitchers’ arm surgeries (March 26, 2008)
• Comic Cardinals touring nation (April 11, 2007)

Link To This Post

<a target="_blank" href="http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/05/pujols-adds-insult-to-injury.html" title="Pujols adds insult to injury">Pujols adds insult to injury</a>

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Leave A Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Search Our Site

  

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Enter your Email

Check Out These Classics

• Olympic swimmer Phelps has water in ear, ends quest for history
• Justin Morneau has only 34 friends on MySpace
• Harvard archeologists uncover suspected Paterno fossil
• Kournikova desperately trying to win
• IOC also strips Jones of steroids-induced mustache

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

Featured News

• Shawne Merriman cleared to play after fifth opinion from Dr. Dre
• Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer
• Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction
• St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart
• Man accidentally takes fiance to Nats/Phillies game on “Cole Hamels nails every chick in the place” night
• Older Featured News...

News In Brief

• Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team
• Beijing anti-smog plan calls for giant oil-burning torch
• Nation mourns life of Tim McCarver
• Dodgers to play two outfielders
• Pirates sign Lyndon Larouche in effort to have all Laroches and LaRouches on team
• Older News In Brief...

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis, UFC, golf or basketball.

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!