Cops say Benson is surprisingly easy to take down

AUSTIN, TX — When Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested for driving his boat on an Austin, Texas lake, police say they were surprised by how easily the 6-foot, 220-pound man went down to the ground.

“Basically, we barely touched him, and he went down,” said one officer on the scene. “It wasn’t difficult to take him down and cuff him at all. He basically fell over on first contact. It almost seemed like he was looking for a place to fall before we even told him he was under arrest.”

Benson was arrested last weekend when officers on Lake Travis pulled up next to his boat for a routine safety check. Reportedly, the former fourth overall pick failed a sobriety test and was uncooperative with the officers, who were compelled to use force to take him down after he refused to head for land.

That was when the scuffle ensued, and the cops took Benson down and got him under control. According to eyewitness accounts, the officer who tackled Benson was not a large man.

“Yeah, the guy who wrestled him to the ground was only about 5-foot-8, 150 pounds. But he just grabbed him by the legs, and down Benson went,” said one surprised onlooker. “I would’ve thought an NFL running back would be more difficult to tackle, but it looked shockingly easy. It all happened very fast.”

Benson defended his apparent lack of fortitude as simple self-preservation. He maintains that as an NFL player, his continued physical well-being is the first priority.

“Could I have taken that guy? Probably – I must outweigh him by at least 50 pounds. But I’ve got a career to think about,” Benson explained. “When I saw him come at me, it was like ‘well, I can either just hit the deck, literally, or he could maybe twist my ankle or bruise my thigh or something.’ Obviously I don’t want to get injured, so I got down before he could do any damage.

“It’s a strategy that’s worked for me on the field, so I figured the same basic principles apply on a boat. And you know what? My legs feel great.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!