Belichick also misinterpreted the rules of marriage

BOSTON, MA — New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s claim that he misinterpreted the rules preventing the taping of the opposition’s signals during games elicited a firestorm of doubters, but now Belichick admits he misinterpreted other rules as well. For instance, the rules of marriage.

Belichick divorced his wife in 2006 after numerous claims of inappropriate relationships with other women. Recently, the three-time Super Bowl winning coach said that, although he now realizes he was wrong, he simply misunderstood the rules that govern marriage in our society.

“I just think I failed to get the full picture of the vows during the part about faith. To me, faithful meant not marrying another woman, and I made sure not to do that,” he said. “I went by the standard bylaws of the vows, and obviously did not fully understand certain intricacies.”

The New England Patriots have been taken to task by the media and those around football for having videotaped coaches from other teams relaying signals into their players. The issue came to a head when a story in the Boston Globe claimed that the team taped the St. Louis Rams walkthrough before the Super Bowl in 2002. The story turned out to be incorrect, but it led to an investigation of the team, and former video assistant Matt Walsh turned over tapes and gave details that incriminated Belichick and the team in the scandal.

When rumors of Belichick’s extramarital activities hit the press, he did not speak about them. But now, in light of Spygate, the coach felt he should address everything at once and put his troubles behind him. While he now realizes his mistakes, Belichick continues to claim ignorance for his behavior.

“I simply didn’t know any better at that time,” he said. “In retrospect, clearly I should have checked with somebody at the church or something – you know, to make sure what I was doing was okay. So I guess I failed to do my due diligence on the matter, but there were no bad intentions.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!