Pierce, Garnett auditioning new members for “Big 3″

BOSTON, MA — Up 2-0 on the Atlanta Hawks in their first round playoff series, and with many fans predicting a championship run, everything would appear to be perfect for the Boston Celtics.

But there appears to be a changing of the guard taking place, even as the Celts make their run.

As they led Boston to a 66-win regular season, much has been made of the incredibly tight relationship that the much ballyhooed threesome of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen share. They’ve shot numerous commercials together, attended each other’s family gatherings, and even set an NBA record for most ass pats during a season among teammates. In short, they’ve been virtually inseparable, both on and off the court – but on the heels of the Celtics 19-point victory over the Hawks on Wednesday, there appears to be a rift developing between the All-Stars.

At a posh Boston club early on Monday morning, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce were seen laughing, smoking cigars and taking shots late into the night. While that isn’t an unusual occurrence for the Celtics stars, the third member of their party certainly was – second-year point guard Rajon Rondo, not Allen, accompanied the pair on their night out.

When SSNN reached Pierce at his home the next morning, the obviously still-drunk shooting guard was all too happy to share the reasoning behind the Rondo-for-Allen swap.

“Me and Kev just felt it was time to shake things up a little bit. Ray-Ray’s still our boy and all, but we got to start looking to the future, you know? I’d say that me and KG still have about 5 good years left in us,” Pierce explained. “But Ray? He’ll be lucky to make it through next year. We got this threesome thing going, and we like it, so we just figured this would be a good time to start trying out different guys.”

Pierce gave a multitude of reasons for pegging Rondo as the man to replace Allen with.

“For one, he’s the point guard, and you always want to hang with the distributor. Plus, he’s got some sick skills on the court, he’s funny as shit when you get a few drinks in him, and he’s always willing to drive,” Pierce said. “And being only 21, he gives us an ‘in’ with some fine young ladies. Ray hasn’t brought in that kind of pussy since his He Got Game days. He’s just not the player that he used to be – and I mean that in every way possible.”

Kevin Garnett echoed that sentiment. “Plain and simple, Ray just doesn’t bring a whole lot to the table these days. His game has gotten pretty one-dimensional if you ask me. He just repeats the same line over and over to every woman we meet. To be honest, the only reason we even let him hang with us for so long was because he’s a big name.”

SSNN caught up with Rondo after practice to get his reaction on his newfound place on the team.

“Holy shit, I’m hungover as fuck. When Paul and KG asked me to hang with them last night, I was pretty stoked,” said a queasy-looking Rondo. “But man, I’m not sure I’m the right guy to join their threesome. I just can’t— oh god, I’m going to be sick.”

After throwing up in a nearby trashcan, Rondo continued. “Sorry about that, the goose gets my stomach loose – if you know what I’m saying. Anyway, I just don’t think I’m ready to handle that kind of responsibility at this point in my career.”

If these first two games of the playoffs are any indication, Pierce and Garnett should have plenty of time left in the season to audition teammates for the role of third wheel. Word is that Glen “Big Baby” Davis is next on their list, not only because of his on-court ability, but the assumption that “he can probably drink like a champion.”

Another veteran, point guard Sam Cassell, has been openly lobbying for the role since his arrival in Beantown. But as Pierce told SSNN, “we don’t hang with the elderly.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!