League stunned by Howard’s admission

DALLAS, TX — Josh Howard went on Michael Irvin’s radio show in Dallas and changed the way he will be perceived in the NBA forever when he admitted that he sometimes smokes marijuana in the offseason.

“Frankly, I’m stunned at Josh’s behavior,” said Baron Davis, one of the NBA’s most popular players. “He only smokes pot during the offseason? I used to think Josh was a pretty cool dude, but now I just think he’s kind of a loser.”

Howard had many explanations for why he limits his extracurricular activities to the offseason, including limited ability to score pot while on the road, and – secondarily – a tepid commitment to the NBA’s rules on substance abuse.

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“You know, I just thought that, with the rules and everything, maybe I’d try and follow them. At least during the season, when I get tested,” a chastened Howard explained to SSNN. “I know it makes me really lame and unpopular – I’m already catching a ton of crap from my teammates about this.”

One of those Mavericks teammates, Jason Terry, expressed serious doubts about the young forward. He sees Howard’s lack of commitment as a flaw that could be exposed on the court.

“Yeah, it’s certainly concerning,” Terry told SSNN. “Josh makes millions of dollars per year, and he’s too lazy and cheap to go buy some Formula 420 to clean up his urine for the tests? Come on, dude – this is just how the problem starts. Before you know it, he’s diving out of the way when Chris Paul comes down the lane. It raises questions about his desire.”

Lakers forward Lamar Odom was even more disappointed than Terry. According to him, Howard’s unwillingness to smoke weed during the season is not about laziness or thriftiness, but something more like a character flaw.

“Nevermind how easy it is to get clean urine if you need it for a test – you can fail like three tests before they even say anything about it,” Odom said. “For Christ’s sake, man – get it together. If you’re not smoking during the season, you probably don’t belong in this league. I mean, it’s one thing when you’re old or have kids or something, but Josh is 28. If I pass him a blunt during the season, he damn well better hit that shit; otherwise, we’ve got problems.”