Karl vows to “put somebody on that Bryant kid” in Game Three

DENVER, CO — After giving up a combined 81 points to previously unknown Lakers guard Kobe Bryant in their first two playoff games, the Denver Nuggets have vowed to make drastic changes.

The Nuggets lost Games One and Two of the best-of-seven first round matchup in Los Angeles. Now, with the series moving to Denver, they say things will be different.

“We’re definitely going to put somebody on that Bryant kid,” said Nuggets coach George Karl. “I’m not sure who yet, seeing as how nobody on our team actually plays defense, but we’ll figure something out.”

Bryant had 32 points in L.A.’s 128-114 victory in Game One. He followed that up with 49 points and 10 assists in the Lakers’ 122-107 win in Game Two. Some Nuggets, though, don’t see a need to panic just yet.

“There’s no need to get all crazy about it,” said Nuggets guard J.R. Smith. “Every once in a while some nobody gets a hot hand and score’s a lot of points. No need to panic. Sun shines on a dog’s ass every once in a while. I’m sure that sooner or later he’ll come back to earth. He’ll be back in the D-League before you know it.”

Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony expressed similar sentiments. “We just need to keep doing what got us here – not playing defense is what led us to the eighth seed in the Western Conference, so I don’t know why we’d want to shift gears so drastically now.”

“It takes so much work to jack up as many shots as we do, so we really don’t have anything left for defense,” veteran guard Allen Iverson added. “Besides, the name of the game is to outscore the opponent. Putting up points is what gets you shoe deals and guaranteed contracts.”

Despite his players’ skepticism, however, Karl remained undeterred in his plan to put a defender on Bryant in game three.

“Maybe we’ll put Marcus Camby on him. He was defensive player of the year once. Or maybe Eduardo Najera, he used to play defense. At least, he did before he came here.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!