Kapler can’t stop singing ‘Sunglasses at Night’

MILWAUKEE, WI — Brewers fans will notice they have a much more festive – and musical – outfield this season. And it’s due in no small part to new outfielder Gabe Kapler.

But Kapler, the journeyman most famous for winning a World Series with the 2004 Red Sox, is not just singing his heart out because he’s back in the Major Leagues after spending last year as the manager of Boston’s Single-A affiliate.

“I can’t help it – every time I look to my left I see Corey Hart,” said Kapler, who has played center field for the Brewers early in the year. “I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can… I don’t know the rest of the words, but you get it, right? Our right fielder’s name is the same as that 80’s pop star! Hilarious! While she’s deceiving me…”

Of course, Hart himself is not that amused by his new teammate’s antics.

“As you can probably guess, I’ve been reminded that Mr. Hart and I have the same name almost every day of my life,” the right fielder said. “I tried politely asking Gabe to stop, but he won’t shut up. I finally had to tell him the next time I hear him sing that God damn song I’m going to stick my sunglasses up his ass.”

Hart added that though he doesn’t even know Mike Cameron, he can’t wait for him to return from his suspension and push Kapler back to the bench. Brewers manager Ned Yost has been alerted to situation, but he told SSNN he’s not sure how to handle it.

“On one hand, yeah, it’s really annoying what Gabe’s been up to, and it’s a tired, played out joke,” Yost said. “On the other hand, it is a catchy song. And even I can’t say it doesn’t run through my head when I see Corey.”

None of the other Brewers would comment on the situation, and almost all of them expressed extreme disappointment that the joke was even being made. To a man, though, they did all agree it would be somewhat funny if the song – with Kapler singing – was played before each of Hart’s at-bats.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!