Jones accidentally files for reinstatement with IRS

NASHVILLE, TN — Racing against the clock to meet a Tuesday night deadline, suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones accidentally filed for reinstatement with the Internal Revenue Service.

IRS commissioner Douglas Shulman welcomes the former first round pick back into the fold in spite of his troubled past.

“Although I don’t recall his first stint with us, it’ll be nice to have him back,” Shulman told SSNN. “Obviously he reports of his past legal troubles are very concerning – but judging from his letter, he seems genuinely contrite and eager to atone for his crimes.”

After a review of his paperwork, Jones has been told to report to auditing training camp in Nashville Tennessee. Shulman is also impressed by the cornerback’s track record in tax accounting.

“According to his papers, he was the first selection made by Tennessee a few years ago, and he also appears to have a very high average with returns,” Shulman went on. “As you can probably guess, returns are a big part of what we’re doing this time of year. I’m sure he’ll do very well after being reinstated.”

But controversy has ensued. Shortly after being issued a company calculator, Jones requested a trade to Dallas, puzzling his employer.

“We don’t even have an office in Dallas,” says supervisor Dwayne Shirk. “And I don’t understand why he keeps patting guys on the ass and saying ‘good game, ya’ll.’ I mean, with that kind of weird behavior it’s no wonder he got suspended in the first place. Frankly I’m surprised he didn’t get nailed with a sexual harassment charge.”

Still, Jones is eager to make the best of things, incorporating such new elements into the workplace as huddling up before an audit, dousing co-workers with a Gatorade bucket and post-work showers.

“I think he’s going to work out just fine this time,” Shirk said, drying himself off.

In addition to accidentally sending reinstatement papers to the Internal Revenue Service, Jones seems to have sent his W2’s and 1099 forms to the NFL. League commissioner Roger Goodell expressed his disappointment with Jones’ off the field behavior, but promised to have his tax return processed as quickly as possible.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!