Jake Long demands trade from Dolphins

MIAMI, FL — Miami Dolphins tackle Jake Long is not happy, and wants out. According to reports received by SSNN, the Michigan product – expected to be the first pick in Saturday’s draft after working out a contract with the Fins – is unhappy with the losing ways in Miami and wants a trade to a competitor.

“Look, there comes a time in your career when you have to think about what’s really important to you,” Long said. “You have to realize that there’s more to this football thing than just money. I want to win a Super Bowl or two, and the way things are going here, I am just not sure that it’s going to come any time soon.”

Long pointed to the Dolphins’ abysmal 1-15 record last year as evidence. “We only won one game last year? I mean, come on. I have demanded a trade, and think I deserve one. I have, after all, paid my dues.”

Long’s contract – believed to be worth nearly $60 million, with half of that guaranteed – may be tough for some teams to take on. However, the offers have already started to pour in. San Francisco has offered their 2009 first round pick for him, while Denver has offered a second- and sixth-rounder this year (but only if Miami eats half of Long’s salary).

“We’re not quite sure what we are going to do with Jake,” said Bill Parcells, director of all things Dolphins. “We just don’t know. I mean, obviously he hasn’t enjoyed his time in Miami as much as we’d hoped. We wanted to win a Super Bowl with him, but that hasn’t happened. So now we have to look at some other options. There will be some nice players available in the sixth round this year, I can tell you that.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!