Immelman given jacket, trophy meant for Tiger

AUGUSTA, GA — Trevor Immelman’s triumph yesterday at The Masters in Augusta, Georgia should have been the highlight of his life. Instead, the 28-year-old from South Africa was surprised and embarrassed at the awards ceremony following his final round.

Apparently Masters officials ordered one of their fabled green jackets tailored for four-time champion Tiger Woods, based on the assumption that Woods would win again this year. Woods, who stands 6′1″ and weighs 185 pounds, is considerably bigger than the 5′9″, 170-pound Immelman.

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“It was a little embarrassing, to say the least,” Immelman told reporters. “They put it on me, and it’s supposed to be this great moment and everything, and the sleeves are hanging down over my hands. I felt like a twelve-year-old in that thing.”

Masters chairman Billy Payne expressed his regret over the error. “I’m terribly sorry about all this. We just assumed that Tiger was going to win it again. But I gotta admit, wee Trevor looked pretty damn funny in that big old jacket. I wonder if he’ll need a booster seat at the champion’s dinner?”

Immelman was further angered by his championship trophy, which had already been engraved with Woods’ name.

“They didn’t even bother to redo it,” the disgruntled Masters champ fumed. “They just scratched out his name and wrote mine in with a Sharpie.”

Payne admitted that all of the pre-tournament Tiger hype might have gone to his head, causing him to believe that Woods was a sure thing.

“All week long the media said he was going to win. Tiger even said he was going to win. I got a discount from the trophy store for having it engraved ahead of time, so I figured I might as well save the club a few bucks,” Payne explained. “As far as the jacket is concerned, I figured if Tiger didn’t win it, Phil would. With that gut and those man-boobs, he would have had no problem taking up the slack.”