Gordon annoying teammates in wake of England call-up

CHICAGO, IL — Ben Gordon’s teammates couldn’t help but notice the guard is in high spirits after he was added to England’s National Basketball Team.

“For the first time this year, he’s all smiles,” said Kirk Hinrich. “At least I think he’s in a good mood – it’s a bit hard to tell with his ridiculous new accent. I can’t understand a thing he’s saying.”

Indeed, just as obvious as Gordon’s smile is his newly discovered British accent. But despite the drastic change in speech, the Bulls guard is insisting the accent is legit.

“‘Ello Gov’nah, ‘ave some tea will you,” he said. “Notice the new accent, do you? Well, check my birth certificate, and you’ll find I was born in the jolly ‘ole town of London.”

While Gordon is going on as if nothing has changed, teammates are not dealing with the transition as well. Rookie center Joakim Noah told SSNN he hasn’t been this annoyed “since Ben Wallace was around,” while Hinrich described the accent as a “poor Mary Poppins impersonation.”

Even his England national teammate Luol Deng is quickly becoming tired of the accent.

“I overheard Ben talking all goofy, and I informed him he grew up in New York,” Deng said. “As someone who spent a good part of his childhood in England, his Eliza Doolittle accent is a little offensive.”

Deng quickly dismissed speculation that the accent would offend other players on the England basketball squad.

“Oh no, they won’t mind the silly accent,” he said. “What they will mind is his atrocious defense. I mean, even in regular season NBA games – when no one’s trying – he stands out as looking like he’s not trying. Now that’s gonna piss the guys off.”

Gordon refused to directly address any of his teammates’ comments, saying only that he’s been working very hard with Madonna on the accent, and that for the most part he’s received positive feedback.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!