Hot Topics: MLB NFL NBA baseball New York Yankees steroids ESPN Chicago Cubs NCAA football Boston Red Sox

Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Escobar comes clean about injury

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Minutes following his team’s 1-0 victory over the Minnesota Twins Wednesday night, Los Angeles Angels starting pitcher Kelvim Escobar revealed the real cause of the inflammation that had reportedly gripped his throwing shoulder, and possibly causing the staff ace to miss at least the first two weeks of the season.

“The last thing I want to be in this world is a liar. So, it is with a complete lack of regret and remorse that I announce the Angels organization and I have been covering up the true nature of my injury for months now,” last year’s 18-game winner admitted. “My shoulder was never inflamed. In fact, my shoulder was never injured at all. Doctors and teammates tell me the swelling and inflammation has actually taken place in my head, but I don’t really see how I can help it.

“They say the clubhouse gradually started to notice the symptoms shortly after I single-handedly led the Angels to the divisional crown with a career year, and they persisted right on through to the playoffs, even after our early exit. I mean, it wasn’t my fault we lost to the Red Sox. But I found out firsthand something was a bit odd when I could no longer fit my cap over my head.”

Escobar acknowledged that the symptoms plaguing him the entire offseason – such as an oversized cranium that hampers his ability to walk – and recently landing him on the 15-day DL are self-inflicted, and will only subside once he begins to keep his ego in check. But the Angles hurler, who many of the nation’s baseball pundits project to be a serious Cy Young Award candidate this season, also put what he called “just blame” on the media. Even those reporters who were present for Wednesday night’s announcement proved to be fair game.

“I’ll play the role of the bigger man here – like I always do, because I’m cool like that – and admit that my recent ailment has been a direct result of my self-adoration. I’ll also admit that we would have won 15-0 tonight if I had been out there, regardless of the fact that I don’t hit. But come on, how can I not bask in the glow of my supreme and unparalleled talent, especially when you consider how much I will dominate once I come off the disabled list?” Escobar asked the group of assembled reporters. “Of course, part of the problem lies with you guys – what do you expect? If the press didn’t come out and say before the start of the season that I will win 30 games and have an ERA under 1.00, this sort of thing would never happen.

“I agree that I will win 30 games, but those projections still put undue pressure on me to be even more awesome than I already am. That’s a lot for one man to handle, even a god like me.”

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: injury, Kelvim Escobar, Los Angeles Angels, Minnesota Twins, MLB

Posted on April 3rd, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

Wade to have surgery (May 1, 2007)
Cassell lands movie role (March 15, 2007)
Five people expected to attend “Battle of Florida” (June 13, 2008)
Crisp to file sexual harassment suit against Navarro (June 6, 2008)

Link To This Post

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Search Our Site

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Check Out These Classics

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

News In Brief

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!