Entire KU team declares for NBA draft

LAWRENCE, KS — The entire National Championship-winning Kansas Jayhawks basketball team has declared for the NBA draft as a collective unit, SSNN has learned.

Cole Aldrich, Darrell Arthur, Brennan Bechard, Chase Buford, Jeremy Case, Mario Chalmers, Sherron Collins, Darnell Jackson, Sasha Kaun, Matt Kleinmann, Brady Morningstar, Tyrel Reed, Russell Robinson, Brandon Rush, Rodrick Stewart, Conner Teahan, and Brad Witherspoon have all made themselves eligible for the forthcoming June draft, along with coach Bill Self and former NBA player and current KU assistant Danny Manning.

“We just figured, we’re the ultimate team,” said Mario Chalmers. “So we thought, why not go into the NBA as a package deal? We are clearly much better than the sum of our parts, so if we can find the right situation, then we’ll go there.”

Reportedly the KU team is seeking an environment where they can operate as one unit, and have requested a special exemption from the NBA to let all 19 individuals play on the court at the same time as one player, conceivably providing a huge advantage to the team, which will have four real NBA players to go along with the 19 KU players – for a whopping 23-man lineup.

“It figures to get a bit crowded on the floor from time to time,” Bill Self said. “But it also figures to be a whole lot of fun. Imagine how quickly we’ll get the ball up and down the court – really nobody will ever have to move. I’ve always told my players the ball moves faster than any man.”

“The bottom line is that we know how to win,” said shooting guard Brandon Rush. “You can’t teach that sort of thing. It’s just kind of something that you have or that you don’t have. And if you draft the 19 of us, then you get a certain level of championship quality added to your team. And that’s something that we think a lot of NBA teams will like.”

The KU squad is expected to be chosen second in the draft, after Memphis point guard Derrick Rose.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!