Cubs fan leader fires back at Brennaman

CHICAGO, IL — Cincinnati Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman did not have pleasant things to say about fans of the Chicago Cubs, calling them “far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball.” Now, Cubs fans are firing back, claiming that they consistently exhibit class and loyalty to the team.

“Obnoxious? Please,” said Stevie Wagner, President of the Official Chicago Cubs fan club. “Cubs fans are the most loyal in baseball. We support our team no matter what. We’ve been losing for 100 years, and we still pack Wrigley for every game. Can Reds fans say that?”

Brennaman blasted Cubs fans during a Reds-Cubs game last week. After a Cincinnati home run, the Wrigley Field faithful tossed not only the home run ball, but 12 or 15 other balls onto the field – and the veteran broadcaster went off. In addition to calling out the fans, he claimed that their behavior makes it easy for people to root against the Cubs and hurts the team’s chances of success.

“We’ve been throwing home run balls back onto the field since before I was born! So we threw one, two, fifteen extra balls out there – big deal, who cares?” Wagner went on. “Marty Brennaman named his son Thom… with an ‘h.’ It’s like, don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house, Marty, because nothing is more obnoxious than Thom with an ‘h,’”

In an effort to prove that the team’s fans have the best of intentions, Wagner pointed to Steve Bartman, who infamously reached for a foul ball in the 2003 playoffs. He has been vilified in Chicago since, as he may have inadvertently cost the team an out, which might have helped propel the Cubs to the World Series.

“Just look at Bartman,” Wagner proclaimed. “If Cubs fans were so obnoxious, that guy would have had to move out of the city just to survive another day. But seeing as how we’re a lot who likes to forgive, we allowed him to live, and he’s still in Chicago today. Now, how is that obnoxious? We’re all class, Brennaman.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!