Anticipating future house arrests, Tank Johnson purchases mobile home for 2008 road games

DALLAS, TX — With the expectation that he will probably be placed under house arrest for speeding, carrying concealed weapons or drunk driving at some point during the upcoming season, Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Tank Johnson has purchased a mobile home that would allow him to travel to road games with his team.

RV salesman Tommy Dominick – who sold Johnson the mobile home – described the vehicle/domicile as a “dream on wheels.”

“It’s really the perfect home for the jet-setting traveler who is legally required to remain under constant adult supervision,” Dominick told SSNN. “I have this very model as my own personal residence, and I can tell you it’s come in handy in situation where one wants to remain in the home, yet also travel. I’ve been watching my kids’ little league games from my easy chair for years now.”

Fully stocked with a gun rack and wet bar, Johnson’s vehicle would give him ample opportunity to violate the law and later atone for his crimes in the same place – leaving home only for court dates, games and the occasional night club shooting.

“I’m a busy man, always on the go,” Johnson explained. “With my over-packed schedule it’s often difficult to make time for the important things in life – like recklessly endangering the lives of motorists, or threatening people with illegal weapons. This new arrangement will give me so much extra freedom, I might even show up to a practice or two on time.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!