A-Rod teaching himself to switch hit with help of wife

NEW YORK, NY — He’s already considered the best player in the game by most baseball fans, but it seems that Alex Rodriguez has more tricks up his sleeve in his never-ending quest to reach the pinnacle of his sport.

The Yankees’ third baseman announced this morning that he has been training himself to switch-hit, and expects to debut his new talent on the field in the next couple weeks. According to Rodriguez, he has spent over eight hours developing the skill since the idea struck him last Thursday.

“It was right after I struck out with men on second and third and no outs. We were facing the Jays, and Dustin McGowan was pitching, and I was 0-for-3 against him, and it just sort of hit me – this guy is right-handed, and I can’t seem to get anything done against him,” Rodriguez recalled. “Like, I was trying, you know? But nothing – groundout, popout, strikeout. So I figured it was probably because of the whole righty-righty thing, and if I was a switch hitter I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

Rodriguez went home after the game and talked over the problem with his wife, with whom he says he discusses all his problems, “since the stripper thing.” He says it was her idea to begin a strict training regimen in their home gym.

“Cynthia’s like some kind of crazy genius, God bless her,” Rodriguez told SSNN. “We’ve always had the Wii in the home gym, ever since we got it, ’cause C likes to play MarioPaint while she rides the exercise bike. But I never thought to use it to work on my swing until she suggested it. And she’s awesome at Wii Baseball, so it’s like I have a live-in batting coach.”

The Yankee slugger says he has been spending a minimum of two hours per day working on a swing from the left-handed side of the plate. Though he has yet to face live pitching, he thinks he’s making great progress.

“Well, when I first started, obviously I had never swung lefty before, so it was a struggle. But now I’m hitting almost .300 on ‘Easy,’ and I can occasionally make contact on ‘Medium’ difficulty,” Rodriguez said. “I figure once I can beat Cynthia in home run derby, I’m good to go.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!