Source reports Al Davis has been dead for three years

OAKLAND, CA — A source within the Oakland Raiders organization has confirmed a recent rumor that longtime Raiders owner Al Davis has been dead for just over three years. According to the source, Davis, the boss of the Raiders for over four decades, died while throwing darts at a photograph of former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

“At least he died doing what he loved,” the source told SSNN. “But I just couldn’t be a part of the charade anymore. Propping that old bag of bones up at games, releasing statements on Al’s letterhead and forging his signature – it got too be too much. Too Weekend at Bernie’s, you know?

The fact that Davis has been dead for years goes a long way toward explaining the seemingly chronic dysfunction of the Raiders organization over that time period. Since losing the Super Bowl to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the end of the 2002 season, the team has won a total of 19 games.

According to SSNN’s source, Davis “never fully recovered” from the Super Bowl loss, and was less and less involved with the team in the last years before his death in early 2005. Since that time, the Raiders organization has had no apparent leadership and no real plan of action, as evidenced by their pathetic record and questionable personnel moves.

Former Raider defensive tackle Warren Sapp, who recently chose to retire rather than go through another season in Oakland, said the report of Davis’ death goes a long way towards confirming his long-held suspicions that something was wrong within the organization.

“I only met Mr. Davis once before I signed with Oakland, and it didn’t seem right to me. His handshake was really cold and clammy, and the whole time we were talking he didn’t say anything,” Sapp recalls. “He just sat there in his jumpsuit and dark shades and let everyone else do the talking. I was like, ‘Maybe that’s just the way things are around here.’”

Current NFL commissioner Roger Goodell had no official comment on Davis having been dead for years, but a source within the league’s office said that if Davis was in fact running the team while dead, he could be in line for a long suspension and/or fine from the league.

Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) tells SSNN that Congress may look into the matter. “Well, if we’ve got dead people running pro football teams, that’s definitely something that Congress should look into.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!