Ramirez done “being Manny”

FORT MYERS, FL — For years, Manny Ramirez’s odd behavior – be it hiding out in the Green Monster, jamming to his iPod between innings or serially skipping the All-Star game – has been written off as the power-hitting outfielder “just being Manny.” But no more: Ramirez intends to shed that label this season.

“I’m just sick of it, you know?” Ramirez told SSNN in an exclusive spring training interview. “I’ve been Manny for more than 35 years now – frankly, it’s getting old. The aloofness, the home-run hitting… It doesn’t do it for me anymore. So I’m thinking about going in a different direction.

“I want to show people that I’m more than just a space cadet outfielder who can hit the ball a mile. I hate that people say I’m just being Manny. I know I can be so much more – I could be any number of people, or things.”

Ramirez wants to make sure he doesn’t offend any of his fans, so he doesn’t intend to stray too far from home in deciding who he’ll be this season. Some Red Sox would welcome the change.

“If Manny is gonna be me, does that mean I get to be Manny?” asked J.D. Drew. “Because I’d definitely be down to make it through a season without getting injured or somehow letting my team down. Plus, who doesn’t want to get high all day and have everybody love you for it?”

Unfortunately for Drew, Manny has some particular players in mind. He says he’s looking to be someone who is almost nothing like himself.

“Of course I don’t want to be J.D. Hell, he’s like a poor man’s version of me. A very, very poor man,” Ramirez said. “No, I want to be someone younger, someone who plays the game in an exciting way – I’m thinking like Jacoby Ellsbury, or Dustin Pedroia. You know what? Maybe I could be Papelbon – that way I can still be kindof a weirdo. Either way, there’s no more Manny being Manny.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!