Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon

BRISTOL, CT — Over the past week, sources within the NHL have been whispering that the league intends to begin its annual playoffs soon, although the exact date remains in doubt. An employee in the video editing department at ESPN, who wished to remain anonymous in keeping with the spirit of the league, partly confirmed rumors that the NHL will, in fact, have a playoff season this year.

“Well, we know they’re having a regular season right now, because they keep sending us game tapes. Unless the tapes are from other seasons, I guess… Who can tell the difference, you know? There’s been like 60, maybe 70 games played so far,” the source told SSNN. “Another 30 or 40 and they should be about done. As I understand it, the playoffs will begin shortly after the regular season and last approximately two and a half years.”

Since a lockout caused the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season, the NHL has rarely appeared on any major television networks, leading many to speculate that the league no longer exists. An informal survey conducted by SSNN confirmed that over 75% of Americans believe the NHL went out of business several years ago. Another 15% think the league is still in a lockout, and the other 10% believe the league “moved back to Canada, or Russia or something.”

But despite the general public’s ignorance and indifference, much evidence in the way of newspaper box scores and SportsCenter highlights exists to support the league’s continued existence.

“Well, Barry Melrose is still doing analysis a few nights a week, and we still televise it one or two nights a week, so I guess they are still in business,” the source at ESPN said. “Of course, everybody likes Barry, and we’d feel real bad for him if his sport no longer had a professional league. So maybe it’s a big conspiracy around here to keep him from having his feelings hurt. Or, you know, maybe he’s being Punk’d.”

Melrose, who has been ESPN’s primary NHL analyst for years, denies that there is any sort of conspiracy regarding the NHL and its playoffs.

“Look, the league still exists,” he assured SSNN. “Look at all the evidence. Just because the actual games aren’t on TV doesn’t mean anything. Lots of things happen every day that aren’t on TV.”

When asked what those things are, Melrose admitted he wasn’t sure. When asked about when exactly the playoffs would begin, Melrose wasn’t sure of that either – “The playoffs will probably begin next month. That would be my guess, unless it’s the month after that.”

Melrose was also unsure what had become of former ESPN hockey analyst Darren Pang. SSNN’s video editing source, however, says he has a pretty good idea. “He talked too much. The league is very sensitive when it comes to the flow of information. They really don’t seem to want people knowing anything about their actions, or their future plans.”

League officials refused all requests for comment on this story.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: Barry Melrose, Darren Pang, ESPN, NHL, NHL playoffs

Posted on March 12th, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

• Bulls lobbying NBA for more time (June 18, 2008)
• Pedro Gomez still inexplicably standing outside Bonds’ house (August 15, 2008)
• Arenas frustrated by “team-first approach” (February 21, 2007)
• Cuban trying to reverse Kidd trade before Game Five (April 29, 2008)

Link To This Post

<a target="_blank" href="http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/03/nhl-playoffs-rumored-to-begin-soon.html" title="NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon">NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon</a>

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Leave A Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Search Our Site

  

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Enter your Email

Check Out These Classics

• McCovey Cove actually Fountain of Youth
• Demonstrator awarded gold medal by confused Olympics judges
• Wallace looking for revenge
• Lovie: Orton’s spot safe with Bears
• Ann Curry annoying friends, family, country by referring to Olympics as “Games of the 29th Olympiad”

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

Featured News

• Shawne Merriman cleared to play after fifth opinion from Dr. Dre
• Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer
• Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction
• St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart
• Man accidentally takes fiance to Nats/Phillies game on “Cole Hamels nails every chick in the place” night
• Older Featured News...

News In Brief

• Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team
• Beijing anti-smog plan calls for giant oil-burning torch
• Nation mourns life of Tim McCarver
• Dodgers to play two outfielders
• Pirates sign Lyndon Larouche in effort to have all Laroches and LaRouches on team
• Older News In Brief...

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis, UFC, golf or basketball.

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!