NCAA Tourney bubble bursts, injures hundreds

USA — The country is in shock today, as the injury toll continues to climb after the bubble holding up potential NCAA Tournament teams literally burst late last night. The number of injuries is estimated to be in the hundreds.

“We’re just lucky nobody was killed out here today,” Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim told SSNN. “Our squad is used to being around the bubble, as we’ve been here the last couple of years, but we always thought we were safe. Unfortunately, we were wrong.”

The exact cause of the burst is unknown, but terrorism is not suspected. NCAA President Myles Brand released a statement today expressing his feelings about the incident.

“I am deeply troubled that the NCAA Tournament bubble has burst. Be assured that the safety of our student-athletes and coaches is our utmost concern, and we will work to make sure this never happens again.”

Critics of Brand told SSNN that this incident should have been anticipated, and more could have been done to prevent it.

“College basketball has been expanding for years,” said a source inside the president’s office. “Since the tournament went to 64 teams in 1985, more and more teams have been on that bubble. How Myles Brand and the other NCAA bigwigs failed to see that this would be a possibility is unbelievable. How long did they expect a pocket of air to last, with literally dozens of college basketball players and coaches just sitting on it? Hell, if Majerus was coaching a relevant team it would have burst years ago.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!