Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Jeff Kent shocker: mustache has always been fake

VERO BEACH, FL — In one of the most shocking pieces of news to come out of spring training in years, SSNN has learned that Los Angeles Dodgers second baseman Jeff Kent’s mustache is fake. An exclusive source close to the player told SSNN that Kent has been living a lie his entire career, pasting the whiskers on each morning when he wakes up.

“I just felt like America had the right to know,” said the source. “So many mustachioed people look up to him, I felt like it was wrong for him to continue this charade. Basically, I was forced to tell the world. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing Jeff was a mustache fraud.”

When reached for comment, Kent strongly denied the story. “I believe this individual misremembered,” he said. When told that the source had visual evidence and had not simply been told the story, Kent did not back down, saying, “That doesn’t mean he didn’t misremember what he saw, sir.”

The American Mustache Institute released a statement today in response to the news. “We at the AMI are deeply disappointed,” the brief document read. “We held Mr. Kent in high regard for his dedication and loyalty to the cause. Unfortunately, his name will now have an asterisk next to it in our record books.”

Kent had been placed alongside individuals such as Rollie Fingers and Dale Earnhardt as some of the most elite athletes ever to sport the fashionable look. Now, Kent’s name is possibly sullied forever, and it is expected that Rep. Henry Waxman (D–CA) will open a Congressional investigation to look into the matter.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: American Mustache Institute, Dale Earnhardt, Henry Waxman, Jeff Kent, Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB, mustache, Rollie Fingers

Posted on March 11th, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

• Van Gundy headed for better place (May 7, 2007)
• Reporter hopes to get Pulitzer for coverage of Favre’s cell communications (July 18, 2008)
• Kobe adds asterisk to Shaq’s fantasy football championship (January 4, 2008)
• NASCAR to provide Jeff Gordon with ‘Jeff Gordon’ bonus (November 10, 2007)

Link To This Post

<a target="_blank" href="http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/03/jeff-kent-shocker-mustache-has-always-been-fake.html" title="Jeff Kent shocker: mustache has always been fake">Jeff Kent shocker: mustache has always been fake</a>

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Leave A Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Search Our Site

  

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Enter your Email

Check Out These Classics

• Family road trip merely ruse for trophy pickup
• Local sportscaster’s absurd prediction made boldly
• Soriano hoping to buy AT&T Park’s enormous glove
• Elementary school librarian way too into NASCAR
• Gordon annoying teammates in wake of England call-up

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

Featured News

• Shawne Merriman cleared to play after fifth opinion from Dr. Dre
• Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer
• Lee Corso puts on Nick Saban’s head when making prediction
• St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart
• Man accidentally takes fiance to Nats/Phillies game on “Cole Hamels nails every chick in the place” night
• Older Featured News...

News In Brief

• Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team
• Beijing anti-smog plan calls for giant oil-burning torch
• Nation mourns life of Tim McCarver
• Dodgers to play two outfielders
• Pirates sign Lyndon Larouche in effort to have all Laroches and LaRouches on team
• Older News In Brief...

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis, UFC, golf or basketball.

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!