Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger

NEW YORK CITY, NY — In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to work out a deal to obtain Tiger Woods and sign him to a long term deal.

A source inside the Knicks said the deal Thomas is offering Woods is believed to be worth $50 million a year for 10 years, with numerous bonuses attached. At stake is exactly what the Knicks would be giving back. Thomas would like the trade to include Stephon Marbury and several of the Knicks’ female employees.

The PGA has predictably turned Thomas down, but that hasn’t stopped the Knicks’ coach/GM from trying. Reached today, he defended the concept of the trade.

“Tiger Woods is the best in the world, and we want him on the Knicks,” Thomas said. Reminded that Woods is a golfer and not a basketball player, he got defensive. “So what? Are you saying he can’t play hoops? Have you seen Jerome James play lately? Tiger is a phenomenal athlete, and anything he can’t do, I can just teach him. I can pretty much teach anybody to do anything. That’s why I’m a Hall of Famer.”

Another snag holding up the deal is the PGA’s insistence on the Knicks taking John Daly along with Woods. Initially Thomas did not want any part of this, but he has come around on golf’s biggest bad boy.

“At first I was hesitant about taking John Daly,” he explained. “But then I thought about it, and you know what? It might be a good thing. Think about all the things Daly has had to deal with. He’s gone through like four wives, he has a drinking problem, a gambling problem… I mean, I think he could teach the New York Knicks organization quite a bit. That type of life experience is rare, and it could make quite an impact here.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!