Hot Topics: MLB NFL NBA baseball New York Yankees steroids ESPN Chicago Cubs Boston Red Sox NCAA football
Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.
Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com
Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.
Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.
TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds
Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament
See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.
Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.
News Item

PONTE VEDRA, FL — College basketball announcer Gus Johnson stood on the steps of a Florida courthouse as he prepared for the fight of his life or, at the very least, one that will threaten his national identity.
Sources close to Johnson tell SSNN that the International Biathlon Union, in accordance with the desires of its 10 members, is seeking a class action lawsuit against the popular CBS analyst and play-by-play man, and that both parties assembled at the St. John’s County courthouse for initial proceedings Wednesday.
The IBU contests Johnson has caused the union “substantial and irreparable damage” to its reputation through his repeated use of the “rise and fire” catch phrase that has come to define him as one of the most recognizable figures in sports broadcasting.
“The IBU has owned the slogan ‘rise and fire’ for years now, and we think it’s about time to reclaim it once again as our own,” said union president Anders Besseberg, shortly before the proceedings. “Mr. Johnson has had his fun. Now it’s time to show the sports world that the International Biathlon Union will not take shit from anybody.”
Despite the biathlon’s maturation as a competitive sporting event, the fact remains biathlon followers have been hard to come by recently, especially in the United States. Nonetheless, Bessemer vehemently accuses Johnson of defacing the integrity of the sport by utilizing the phrase “rise and fire” in relation to what he calls a “barbaric display of American athletic supremacy.”
“Basketball is not even a real sport. A trained circus bear could throw a tiny orange ball through a cylinder. It’s prehistoric. Try skiing your ass 5,000 feet through the Alp, until your legs feel like noodles, then crouching down to pump shell after shell into a rotating target. That’ll put hair on your chest, boy. But you have to rise slightly before you fire; everyone knows that.”
If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!
Labels: biathlon, Bill Raftery, CBS, Gus Johnson, NCAA basketball
Posted on March 13th, 2008
Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!
Other Related News Items
Link To This Post
Comments
Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...
Leave A Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!
Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...
Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers
Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.
Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!
Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks
MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets
Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!